Bring your own redemption…

Bonus points if you recognize the song I stole those lyrics from. Yep, I’m still alive. I’m debating a geographic segue. I’m not good at permanent, and I’m feeling trapped here. I stayed here in part to avoid dealing with the reality that my Husband would never be home with me again. I think I’ve processed that as fully as I can. I don’t know where I’m going yet, or even if I’ll actually go, but it’s starting to feel like the wild geese are flying.

Second Song for today is “Beautiful” from Trampled by Turtles

Weakened from the bottle
What are you fighting for?
Simple and subtle and lying
And too beautiful
Too beautiful
Too beautiful for me.

A massacre of timing
A shadow world at best
A life too short and blinding
And too beautiful
Too beautiful
Too beautiful for me.

No one saw it coming
And no one sees it still
Empty space and memories
Too beautiful
Too beautiful
Too beautiful for me.

And I’m scared that I… forget it.
I hate that life goes on.
The world so sweet and deadly
And too beautiful
Too beautiful
Too beautiful for me.

I played TbT’s “Alone” for my husband as he was dying, this is a good follow up thematically. It’s beautiful writing, and dead on accurate with my feelings.

Oh, and the first song for today was
“The Barricades Of Heaven”

Running down around the towns along the shore
When I was sixteen and on my own
No, I couldn’t tell you what the hell those brakes were for
I was just trying to hear my song

Jimmy found his own sweet sound and won that free guitar
We’d all get in the van and play
Life became the Paradox, the Bear, the Rouge et Noir
And the stretch of road running to L.A.

Pages turning
Pages we were years from learning
Straight into the night our hearts were flung
Better bring your own redemption when you come
To the barricades of Heaven where I’m from

All the world was shining from those hills
The stars above and the lights below
Among those there to test their fortunes and their wills
I lost track of the score long ago

Pages turning
Pages we were years from learning
Straight into the night our hearts were flung
Better bring your own redemption when you come
To the barricades of Heaven where I’m from

Childhood comes for me at night
Voices of my friends
Your face bathing me in light
Hope that never ends

Pages turning
Pages torn and pages burning
Faded pages, open in the sun
Better bring your own redemption when you come
To the barricades of Heaven where I’m from.
Better bring your own redemption when you come
To the barricades of Heaven where I’m from.

Until next time,
Kate

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