It’s working….slowly

I weighed in this morning at 144.8.  I broke 145, finally!  Less than 10 lbs to reach my first goal, still 29.2 from final goal weight, but hey, it’s working.  I’m now losing the 40 lbs I gained the first winter after my husband died, the additional 20ish pounds I gained in the two years thereafter are already G-O-N-E!  WHOO-HOO!  I don’t think getting back to the weight I was when he died will bring him back, but I know that was the way he liked my body, and I’m enjoying the process of getting there. The only thing I don’t LOVE about it is that I am choosing to miss out on a few meals out that I really love…like the BBQ Brisket the boyfriend is currently eating.  He does this every time I try to drop weight.  It’s like when I start to succeed he has to throw up roadblocks.  I’m not going to let him stop me from reaching my goals.   I had 2 cheat meals already this week, so it’s not like I’m being a total stick in the mud about going outside my limits.  I just don’t want to get into the bad habit of eating out and thinking it’s ok, because I do it all the time.  Once I reach my goal weight I’ll be a little more lenient about how often I can “cheat”, but for now I’m thinking 2x a week is plenty, maybe even more than plenty.  Besides, it’s nice having some control over my life, even if it’s just my weight.   I will get back to myself, even if I’m not 100% sure who that is anymore, at least I know who that looks like.

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